During all these years that I’ve been running Tijana Andjelic Coaching, I’ve worked with many different kinds of people, with different problems, goals and personality types. However, regardless of their ambitions, backgrounds or plans, there are some qualities that seem to be almost universal, just not as pronounced in some people as they are in others. One of these traits that everyone who has worked in coaching at least for a minute has had plenty of opportunities to be hampered by, is people’s aversion to being told what to do and how to live their life by someone they don’t really know. While some are more than willing to submit to the authority of different institutions, movements, governments, etc. that ability to trust in someone’s intentions and capabilities doesn’t really extend, at last not fully, to individuals. So, while you might be willing to allow someone you’ve known for years to give you personal advice, in our experience, you probably won’t be as tolerant to input when it comes from someone who is, technically, a stranger, not even if that’s exactly what you’ve hired them for. Even if you are trying to curb every impulse that is preventing you from opening up to someone else’s opinion and advice, you still have to be convinced that they are actually capable of helping you. Each and every one of us at Tijana Andjelic Coaching has had their share of clients who weren’t making any progress until that plainly noticeable moment when they finally let their guard down and let us help them. While this attitude makes it much more difficult to stay objective and get the full benefits of the coaching process, it’s not really surprising that it is so common. After all, the impulses behind it have never been easy to control. Some of the reasons for keeping people out include our fear or what they, or ourselves could find out during the process, what unpleasant truths might crop up; our vanity and inability to admit that someone else might be more competent to solve our personal issues than we are; our insecurity, laziness, and a host of other minor or major complications, most of which can, fortunately, be resolved or at least successfully avoided by a skilled coach. Even though we take pride in all of our employees in Tijana Andjelic Coaching, we know that not every coach is suitable for every client. And even though the process requires the coach to be confident and determined, we also know that there are instances where the coach is simply not right. So how do you strike that fine balance, how do you stay open for input but still refrain from believing blindly in everything you’re told? It all comes from understanding that a coach is a professional hired to help you. When you hire a mechanic, you don’t teach them how to do their job, even though you know your car better than they do – coaching is the same. Just because coaching deals with your private issues, may force you to face some insecurities, etc. that doesn’t mean that someone from the outside can’t be able to help. If you manage to adopt this kind of attitude, you can be sure that the process itself is going to be much shorter, and much more productive.
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